The one-to-one playbook: a 45-minute agenda that ends with referrals

My first one-to-one in Surge was with Anil Venkataraman, the week Polaris started meeting. We talked for an hour and ten minutes. We covered his daughter's robotics team, my old classroom and the best playgrounds in Genoa Township. We did not cover one person either of us could send the other. I got to my car and realized I still couldn't describe his best client.

I taught seventh-grade science in Westerville for nine years. I never walked into a classroom without a lesson plan, and no student of mine started a lab without knowing what the experiment was supposed to show. So I wrote a lesson plan for one-to-ones. I've used it for about thirty of them since September, and my second meeting with Anil ended with two names on each side of the table.

Here's the whole thing.

The night before (10 minutes)

1. Read their Surge profile, all of it. The bio tells you who they are. The ideal-referral line tells you who they want to meet. Copy that line onto your agenda word for word.
2. Bring two names. Write down two people from your clients, neighbors or phone contacts who might fit that ideal referral. They're a starting point, not a promise. If you can't come up with two, you don't understand their business yet, and now you know what to ask first.
3. Write your own ask. One sentence: the person you want to meet and what just happened to them. If you can't say it, they can't help you.
4. Print the agenda. A phone on the table looks like you're waiting for a better offer.

The 45 minutes

Start	Block	What you're after
0:00	Catch-up (5 min)	Coffee, one real question about their week, then: "I brought a rough agenda so we both leave with something. OK if I keep us on time?"
0:05	Their business (15 min)	You ask and write. Work through the questions below.
0:20	Your business (15 min)	They ask you the same questions. Answer with real examples.
0:35	Asks and next steps (10 min)	One intro from each of you, each with a deadline, plus a follow-up date.

Their business goes first on purpose. People listen better once they've been listened to. Every teacher figures that out by October.

The catch-up is five minutes, not twenty. I like people. I also usually have a showing at ten.

Questions that surface referrals

"Tell me about your business" gets you the same pitch they gave at the meeting, and you've already heard it. These questions get you to the situations where the rest of us can actually spot their next client:

1. "Tell me about a client from the last year you'd clone."
2. "What happened right before they called you?"
3. "What did they say on that first call? The actual words."
4. "Who else did they hire around the same time, before you or after you?"
5. "Who sounds like a good fit but isn't?"
6. "If I meet someone like that this week, what should I say to them?"

Question 2 does most of the work. The answer is the trigger, and triggers are what we hear in real life. Nobody announces "I'm in the market for a roofer." They say "some guy knocked on our door after the storm."

What that sounded like with Kate

When I asked Kate Brennan what happened right before her best clients called, she didn't say "their roof was old." She said a storm rolls through, and two days later someone in a company polo knocks on the door, climbs up uninvited and comes down with a $19,000 estimate. The homeowner doesn't trust it and calls Kate, and she puts a drone up and shows them photos of their own shingles.

Then question 4. Who else serves them? Insurance agents, she said, and then she looked at me. Realtors. When a buyer's inspector flags the roof on a listing, sellers panic and hire whoever answers first. Now any listing of mine with a roof over fifteen years old gets a call to Kate before it goes on the market, so we know what we're dealing with before a buyer's inspector does.

What that sounded like with Anil

The second time Anil and I met, I asked where his clients go after him. He said nowhere, they just live in the house. Then he started describing them: first-time buyers from four or five years ago who locked in a rate they'll never see again, bought a starter home in Lewis Center or Westerville, and now have a second kid and one full bathroom. They're scared to give up the rate. That's my ideal referral almost word for word, and it had been sitting in his closed files the whole time.

Ending with asks someone can act on

The last ten minutes are where people get polite and vague. "Keep me in mind." "Send anyone my way." Nobody in the history of breakfast has acted on "keep me in mind."

A good ask names a kind of person, a moment and a next step:

• Vague: "Anyone thinking about buying."
• Specific: "Your clients from four or five years ago who've had a kid since closing. Would you text two of them this week and ask if they've outgrown the place?"

That was my ask of Anil. His ask of me was renters I meet at open houses who haven't talked to a lender yet. We each wrote down two names before we stood up.

This is how I close:

"Before we go, let's each commit to one thing. I'll introduce you to [name] by [date], because [reason]. Who's one person you could introduce me to? Great. Let's check in on [date] and see where both landed."

Set the follow-up date while you're both still sitting there, and put it in your phones right then. "Let's circle back" is not a date.

The 24 hours after

1. Log it in Surge before you leave the parking lot. It takes a few taps. You each get 10 points, and the other person gets an email confirming the meeting. Put both asks in the notes field. Only you can see your notes, so write them for your own memory.
2. Send the intro you promised, the same day. A three-line text to both people is plenty. The longer you wait, the more likely it turns into "I'll get to it after the weekend."
3. Send a thank-you that repeats their ask. "Thanks for breakfast. I'm watching for Dublin or Powell homeowners with a door-knocker estimate. Talk on the 24th." It shows you listened and puts their ask in writing.
4. File the sheet. I keep mine in a binder, sorted by member. My team thinks this is hilarious. My team also borrows the binder.

A one-to-one every week also keeps your streak going. Four weeks in a row earns the On a Streak badge, which is nice, though the two names are worth more.

The printable agenda

ONE-TO-ONE AGENDA (45 minutes)
With: ________________  Date: ________  Where: ______________

THE NIGHT BEFORE
[ ] Their ideal referral, copied from their Surge profile:
    __________________________________________________
[ ] Two names I might introduce them to:
    1. _________________   2. _________________
[ ] My ask in one sentence:
    __________________________________________________

0:00  CATCH-UP (5)
0:05  THEIR BUSINESS (15)
      - A client from the last year you'd clone?
      - What happened right before they called you?
      - What did they say on that first call?
      - Who else did they hire, before or after you?
      - Who sounds like a fit but isn't?
      - What should I say if I meet someone like that?
0:20  MY BUSINESS (15)
      - Same questions, my answers, real examples.
0:35  ASKS AND NEXT STEPS (10)
      - I'll introduce them to: ____________ by ______
      - They'll introduce me to: ___________ by ______
      - Follow-up date: ______

WITHIN 24 HOURS
[ ] Log it in Surge (asks go in the notes)
[ ] Send the intro I promised
[ ] Thank-you text that repeats their ask

Print two copies and hand one across the table. It tells the other person you plan to use their 45 minutes carefully, and it gives them the same questions to ask you.